Assembler 3, by Bryce Summer, is a game about TWITCHING RAGE or to be more specific, a physics-based puzzle game with 44 levels, in which you must carefully position green objects within their equally green outlines. It's sort of like you're recreating a crime scene where an innocent wooden crate or barrel was murdered. It was probably done by hanging or drowning, since the outlines are usually located in mid-air or submerged in water. In order to solve the crime, you must stack other crates and girders so they will support the green objects unwobblingly.

Just click and drag stuff around with your mouse; it's very intuitive.

Analysis: What is not so freakin' intuitive is the skittish, cracked-out physics engine, which has a habit of making the piece of flotsam you're holding spin around like the Tasmanian Devil after three espressos, knocking the living spit out of everything else you're trying to balance. It's strange, because these boxes look like they're made from wood, but they feel like they're made from monkeys. Weightless, somewhat sticky monkeys who have no mass but nevertheless contain all of the world's evil.

What is really fantastic is the incessant knocking and clattering sounds that your evil weightless monkey crates make as you fidget and fuss them into position. It's enough to make you cry "Oh glee!" and pop a dozen festive aspirin. There is also a level editor.

Maddening and compelling, Assembler 3 is sure to scratch your itch for GRAAAAAAAGH JUST STAY ON THE STUPID WEDGE YOU MOTHERLESS SON OF A DRIFTWOOD BANDIT PUNCH YOU IN THE MRRAAAAAAAAAAAGH UGLY-FACE! "

***JayisGames summed it up better than I ever could***

Labels: anger management, boredom, brain, caffeine, games, monkeys, random